Written by: Ieva Miltina

Fat liberation can feel abstract when you only encounter it in books and online. For me, it became very real the moment I walked into FatCon. It showed me how liberation is celebrated and how it looks like when it is lived, not just imagined. This is the fourth and the last article in a series “A Latvian in Fatcon: an intensive crash course in fat liberation”.

Liberation is…being with people that feel comfortable in their own skin.

The grand finale – pool party was probably the most anticipated happening of Fatcon. Especially for me, because that was one of the experiences that I had only seen in joyful social media posts, and could not fully understand the universal excitement of words “fat pool party”. Now I know that with this fun concept comes yet another tension point that we can collectively release just by coming together with likeminded people. 

The highlight of fat pool parties, as I had heard before, lies in the possibility of unashamedly wearing a swimsuit and thus feeling more liberated. Either way – whether it was liberation from shame about your body at all, or about wearing a bikini that is deemed a deadly sin in other surroundings. This is a place where you can feel safe with nobody giving looks or commenting on your body, because you would know – everybody else is fat too. A poster child of fat joy, pool parties would free bodies from unnecessary constraints of fabric, but also serve a rebellious purpose of doing exactly the opposite of what society says. Namely, fat people are allowed to have fun and not feel ashamed showing their fat rolls.

And let me tell you, my experience in FatCon was all of that. But what I realized was that being fat for all of my life, I had already gotten rid of most of the shame wearing a swimsuit. It was not the terrified eyes that terrified me. While soaking in the jacuzzi and looking at all the beautiful diversity of bodies and colorful swimsuits, I came to a realization. What bothered me more than people looking at my half naked body were people who were commenting on “deficiencies” of their own bodies. People who did not feel comfortable enough in their own skin to enjoy water, sun and life in general. Their concerns would take over my “feeling fine in my body” and make me feel like I should be worried about something that I am not. [Writing it now made me feel a pit in my stomach.]

With that being said, FatCon made me realize that in the current cultural landscape the only way towards fat liberation means creating spaces where people do not have to conform to the scenarios that perpetuate patriarchal, capitalist or racist values. Places where we can try out how it is to not be concerned with looks, either yours or that of the others, but with things that actually matter. It can only happen if we foster and cultivate a culture of empathy and care that centers the human as a value. And actively decenters major narratives cultivated by diet and wellness cultures. 

Liberation is…community. Period!

I left the best for the last. FatCon gave me a perspective on liberation that allowed all of the above described learnings. While taken individually, those are possible and exist, but what I felt is that none of them fully achieves its glory in solitude. 

The key here is the fact that we continuously face injustice that is larger (pun intended) than us, and it is maintained by very powerful and greedy systems. As one of my favorite concepts states (that I have now researched and know it comes from a metaphor popularized by Dr. Beverly Tatum) that oppression is like polluted air – inescapable and everpresent in our lives. And, in this individualistic world we are taught to push through, suck it up and meditate ourselves out of issues that make us uncomfortable. 

But the reality is that only collectively our force has gravity that would stand up against the wealth, resources and manipulation of said systems. First, we can heal the trauma of continuous, public oppression by cultivating and being in safe spaces that circumnavigates retraumatization and allow us to rebuild trust in our own bodies. Secondly, even before healing us, such spaces show that there are indeed places where we belong and can feel liberated. They give us the necessary care, make us feel seen and our lived experiences – validated, thus giving us hope that change is possible. 

FatCon gifted me an unwavering awareness about collective liberation and care. Possibly, because back at home I do not have a broad community of fatties, and this one weekend allowed me to immerse myself in the most colorful and dynamic version of it. This juxtaposition of two extremes (going from being a lone fat activist working from her room vs. one of the biggest existing community events for fat people) gave me a perspective that I can not ignore anymore. To liberate ourselves, we NEED community. Only together can we heal, develop, be authentic and resist!

Concluding this, I wish to express my gratitude for this opportunity – to the professional internship program at BAFF for bringing me to the US, to NAAFA for inviting and supporting me throughout this event, and to FatCon for the joy and source of revelations for the time to come.

Visuals from collection of Ieva Miltina